The Groundlings comedy group recently delighted audiences with Teen Witch: The Musical, an enchanted night of music and teen magic. For those not in the know, Teen Witch is the tale of an insecure high school student who discovers she’s a witch on her 16th birthday. Naturally, the teen uses her newfound powers, not to better the world, but to charm a hunky football player and become the most popular girl in school. The flick also features one the most hilarious scenes in cinematic history – the infamous Top That! rap battle.
However, the Teen Witch rap was one of many ridiculous performances in the 1980s. Here are 9 more hilariously bad raps from the decade of big hair, blue eyeshadow, and funky beats.
“Treat Your Mother Right,” Mr. T
Thinking of cracking a “your Mama is so ugly” joke? I pity the fool who tries. In this stern rap, Mr. T urges sassy kids to be good to their mothers.
Best Line: “M is for the moaning, the miserable groan, from the pain that she felt when I was born.”
“Peaches,” Coming to America
Starring Eddie Murphy, Coming to America is about an African prince who comes to America in search of a bride. In this scene, a pair of twins try to rap their way into his heart.
Best Line: “My name is Peaches, and I’m the best. All the DJs want to feel my breasts.”
“City of Crime,” Dragnet
In 1987, Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd starred in Dragnet, a comedy based on the television series by the same name. Here’s a music video for the duo’s collaboration, “City of Crime.”
Best Line: “They got the girl all fright. Now that’s not nice. I think she is the subject of a sacrifice.”
Wendy’s Training Video Rap
Back in the day, employees at Wendy’s received training from fresh rappers with a funky beat. Bonus: Sassy hamburger patties with hoop earrings.
Best Line: “We start shrinking when we hit that grill, you know we will.”
The Karate Rap
Featuring explosions, big hair, and ethnic stereotypes, the Karate Rap is everything you could want from a 1980s video.
Best Line: “Gotta a karate life with my karate wife. Two karate kids and a karate home. A karate dog. He’s gotta a karate bone.”
Runner Up: “I train in my car. I’m a ninja.”
Legend of Zelda Rap
Two nerdy teens rap about the wonders of Nintendo’s Legend of Zelda game. They’re especially impressed by the game’s graphics.
Best Line: “It’s the Legend of Zelda, and it’s really rad. Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad.”
Trophy Nissan Rap
Salespeople take the mic to rap about why folks should buy a car from Trophy Nissan in Mesquite, Texas.
Best Line: “We got Nissan cars and trucks, so don’t be shy. You can buy ‘em from a lady. You can buy ‘em from a guy.”
“The Average Homeboy,” Denny “Blazin” Hazen
Denny “Blazin” Hazen raps about being an average white guy from the middle class. Though Blazin didn’t get his “big break” in the 1980s, he gained notoriety after appearing in a Web Redemption segment of Tosh 2.0. He even has an official website.
EDITED TO ADD SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE: How could I have missed this one?!
"Super Bowl Shuffle," The Chicago Bears
Know of any 80s raps we missed? Speak up in the comments below!
Source: http://blog.starcam.com/post/9-Hilariously-Bad-Raps-from-the-1980s.aspx
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